A decade older

...and the existential crisis that followed.

Did you know that when you become a year older, you celebrate the year you've lived and not the one you're about to?

For example, when you turn 30, you've already completed 30 full trips around the sun. You are not "entering" 30, you're "completing" it.

It is the same thing with centuries.

2026 years means that we have already completed 2026 years, not that we are about to. In reality, we are actually in the 2027th year.

Yes, it is mostly confusing but it is also completely true.

I didn't however figure this out on my own, I stumbled on this completely unnecessary piece of information on Instagram. During one of my multiple doomscrolling sessions.

This knowledge has haunted me ever since I saw it, in a way that almost makes me wish I never did.

Which is why when I turned 20 on the 12th of February, the day began with an existential crisis.

It was a rude reminder that I had already spent twenty years on earth, and was going to begin what people called the most defining decade of my life.

The one where I graduated.

The one where I decided on a career.

The one where I may get married.

Or even have children.

Now, I bet you see the cause of the existential crisis?

A few weeks before my birthday, I wanted to run away. As someone who is not naturally excited about birthdays, I could not muster up excitement no matter how much I tried. And trust me, I did try.

While God tried to heal me from my birthday apathy, and the hurt, I still could not manage to be happy. At least, not the usual birthday kind of happiness.

God however, did not mind, and neither did my friends and family. Thankfully.

I was overwhelmed for most of the day. I also wanted to spend time alone and just watch the time pass by. But in spite of my emotions, I sincerely had an amazing day.

I'm so thankful for everybody who in their little and big ways, made me feel special.

I don't have much to say today, except that I'm older and my exams begin on Monday.

Send many prayers, and money.

Until next time,

All my love,

Debs.